I found this article from the Deseret News interesting.  When asked what she regrets most about her life, Barbara Walters wishes she would have had more children.  I don't believe that anyone can tell a couple how many children they should have.  That's between them and the Lord and there are a lot of factors involved.  We believe in teaching correct principles and letting people govern themselves.  Having said that, I love this quote from Pres. Hinckley:

"When all is said and done, the greatest satisfaction you'll have in this life as you grow old will be seeing your children grow in righteousness and faith and goodness as citizens of the society of which they are a part."

Here are a few pictures of the people who provide us with lots of love and satisfaction.

Addendum

Sorry, but this is an addendum to my last post.  I recently read this  Article about the deaths in Newtown a year ago and found it interesting.  I especially liked this quote "...We don't look at grief as something you heal from like it's an illness, like it's a cold for instance. We use that language a lot, you know 'have you recovered' or 'have you healed from your grief?'...What grief is is a form of love, but with the loved one gone, so it's really the heartbreak of separation from the loved one. So the work of grief is to find a new form for that love, to find a new expression for it, a new commitment, a way to honor the love." 

As members of the Church, with testimonies of Jesus Christ and his atonement and our Father's plan, I think we sometimes think  we don't think we need go through the grief process the same way because we know better.   But I remember very clearly that after Logan died, we knew where he was and that we would be with him again, but the anguish of being separated from him for the next 60 years was hard.  How would WE live without him?

My dad passed away in August of 2000.  When their wedding anniversary came around in December, I can remember that my mom said she was feeling sorry for herself that day and sad.  But being the resolute person that she is, she picked herself up and got busy baking lots of goodies, which she then delivered  to the people my dad had home taught for many years, who were generally not active or who didn't have a lot of friends.   She found a way to honor her love for my Dad.  

I have occasionally read a blog kept by the LDS mother of one of the children killed in Newtown.  It is  painful to read, but also uplifting as she has struggled to find ways to keep Emilie's memory alive and move forward with life.  I guess that's why I feel that we need to experience and express grief.  It's hard, but it's part of why we're here.  I'm comforted by the description of the Savior as a man of sorrow, acquainted with grief.

During the past couple of weeks,  we have attended the funerals of two dear friends.  Knowing them changed us and losing them is hard.  I have reflected on some of the things that were said and that we observed during this time, what I learned when we lost our sweet Logan three years ago, and on some things I've heard people say recently.  These are my observations only.

As members, we often do a pretty poor job of grieving.  Our natural tendency is to want others to feel better.  We think we have the belief system to do that.  So, many times, we say, do or demand of others and ourselves, things that are very superficial and not thoughtful or helpful to the grieving process.  We came to this world to learn and grow and if we don't take the steps necessary to learn from death, nothing has been gained.  Instead, we tend to have the big funeral, a big meal afterwards, and then let out a breath and say, "well, that's over".   And we move on to the next thing without growing emotionally and spiritually.

Some of us seem to feel that because of our beliefs, we shouldn't cry or that we should be cheerful and not sorrowful.  I find that such a denial of all we are trying to achieve in this life.  We become emotional bearing testimonies, at missionary farewells, when seeing friends and family after a separation.  Why do we need to be strong when we lose someone close to us?  It's one of life's deepest learning moments, yet we are uncomfortable with sorrow.  

Elder Nelson spoke over the summer at the funeral of a young missionary who died on his mission. (This is from the Deseret News.)

Elder Nelson then expressed the importance of the family mourning their loss.

"We cry — we weep tears of sorrow. The Lord wants us to cry; he gave it to us as a commandment," Elder Nelson said. "Our tears testify our love for this righteous, wonderful, exemplary, irreplaceable Elder. Our tears also testify of our obedience to this commandment of the Lord."

I remember talking to Preston a couple of years ago after his dad died, followed a few months later by his maternal grandpa.  I asked how his mom was doing.  He said, "well, she's lost the two most important men in the world to her.  How should she be doing?  It's hard."

Our church leaders are not immune.  All of us could plainly see that in President Hinckley when Sis. Hinckley died.  Here's another quote from the Deseret News.

"President Monson’s message was especially powerful and poignant given the sorrow he himself acknowledged feeling since the recent death of his wife, Frances. He noted their 65th wedding anniversary would have been the day after conference ended. “She was the love of my life, my trusted confidant, and my closest friend,” he said. “To say that I miss her does not begin to convey the depth of my feelings.”

Sadness and suffering, he said, “are universal.” They come even to the Lord’s prophet, and they come for a reason.

“Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—
better than what we were, more understanding than what we were, more empathetic than what we were, with stronger testimonies than what we had before.”

While I don't always agree with CS Lewis, I very much like this quote.

“Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stump heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has ‘got over it.’ But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wooden leg. But I shall never be a biped again.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

At Christmas time, I find great solace in the story of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A more cheerful post next time, with cute Christmas-y pictures and everything, I promise.

.

Thanksgiving 2013

A little of this...




















And this...
















And this...


 
 
 


















And a lot of love!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "The Savior taught that we should not lay up treasures on earth but should lay up treasures in heaven (see Matt. 6:19–21). In light of the ultimate purpose of the great plan of happiness, I believe that the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our  posterity. "

We are so thankful for the two beautiful babies who have joined our family recently and for our children who seek to live according to The Great Plan of Happiness.  It's not always easy, convenient, cheap or enjoyable to be a good parent, but I know these little ones are our ultimate treasures. 

I was thankful to be able to go and help when Holly was born on Sept. 30th.  Joanna came over that same day and she was a huge amount of help, too.

We went to a local orchard to pick apples and get the kids pumpkins.  They were more impressed by the apples on the ground than on the tree.

We're thankful that Holly is here and for all our beautiful grandchildren and the sacrifices their parents make to give them life and to raise them.

 

Last night was a harvest moon.  It was pretty, but my camera didn't really capture it. A harvest moon is the last full moon before the vernal equinox.  Since it's getting dark earlier, farmers can use the light from the moon to finish their harvest.  That's if they don't have a million dollar combine with all the bells and whistles.

My Dad used to sing this song about the Harvest Moon: 

http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqISeBTtSaTUA72n7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTBzM3UzbjRzBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMTA-?p=Shine+on+Harvest+moon&vid=75d9900cbad3f9236a3aea9ac25aa54e&l=2%3A31&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4719779368536527%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DlLAWlGkV_jc&tit=The+Four+Aces+-+Shine+On+Harvest+Moon+%281955%29&c=9&sigr=11ahb0ue4&pstcat=arts+culture+and+entertainment&age=0&&tt=b

 

 The Joslins came to visit over Labor Day.  It's always great to have some of the kids home.

 

 We had a cookout at Ben and Shannon's and watched the BYU football game, but a trip to Briq's was part of the pre-festivities.

 

 I'm really bad at taking "selfies".  I guess I'm uncoordinated.

Me and my Russelly.

Ridiculousness

You know you live in Wisconsin when this ridiculous thing is parked outside the front door of the grocery store.

 

Speaking of which, my receipt from the grocery store today was 35 inches long.  I measured.  Yes, Joanna, Ben and Rusty are coming for the meat-a-thon, but the groceries on that receipt take up less than half of it.

Also, I brought home six paper grocery bags, one plastic bag, and a gallon of milk.  But not that many groceries.  Why can't someone teach these guys to bag?  Two of the paper bags had only three small items.  I swear one of these days, when asked "Paper or plastic?", I'm going to say "Paper, but fill it up, please."

I wish...

It's finally raspberry season. We have canned several batches and I made one batch of jam. We don't use stuff up like we used to. I wish one of you were here to help pick and can them. Then you could put them in your stash. It makes me sad to give them to others, when our own kids could use them if we could just get them to them.

 

 I found this empty nest in the raspberry bushes. I got it out to show the girlies.

 

Psaltery organ and song

On a recent visit, Jacob inspired Ben to practice the piano to get good enough to play for priesthood meeting.  He might reach that goal in a year or two.  He still uses the same excuse he used many years ago-- his hands don't work right together.

His playing got me thinking, so one evening when I was restless, I sat down and started to play through the entire hymnbook.  Here are some interesting things I've noticed.

--There aren't many hymns I don't know, but there are many hymns we never sing.  Sad!!  Many that are sung around here are newer, cool songs, but some really good old, old hymns are never used.
--we don't do a very good job with the dotted notes.  We tend to slide over them, making them more equal and less syncopated.
--some of the authors of the songs have awesome names.  I have my favorite.  Which is yours?

When we went to Aberdeen for Grandma's  birthday, I sat by my brother Forrest in sacrament meeting.   As the first hymn started, I leaned over and whispered to him, "Rene always asks me why I don't need or want a hymnbook to sing."  He leaned over and said, "I always ask my wife why she needs a hymnbook after all these years!"

Now, a little quizicito:

Name that hymn:

I cannot go to rest but linger still, in meditation at my window sill...

Wastes rise in verdure and mingle in song.

And righteousness bring in, that Saints may tune the lyre...

When I am filled with strong desire and ask a boon of him I see no miracle of living fire, but what I ask   flows into me.

Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.

And for bonus points, name my favorite hymn and for double bonus points, name my favorite Primary song.

And here's Russell playing the piano.

Songs of the heart

I've noticed that ever since Logan died, I've had trouble saying goodbye to the people I love.  I guess his death reinforced what I already knew--that life is fragile and can change in a heartbeat.  You may have noticed it, too, since I'm usually blubbering well in advance.

So, being all together for our reunion in Nauvoo was bliss, but saying goodbye was so hard.  On the way home, I was thinking about something Uncle Forrest said at Grandma's 80th birthday party.  He said that although we were not terming her party a "reunion", it really was because we were all there and were happy to be together.  He reminded us of how happy we would all be when we are all reunited with Grandpa and others gone before (including Logan.)  I started thinking of this hymn:


Oh, what songs of the heart
We shall sing all the day,
When again we assemble at home,
When we meet ne'er to part
With the blest o'er the way,
There no more from our loved ones to roam!
When we meet ne'er to part,
Oh, what songs of the heart
We shall sing in our beautiful home.

Although I hope it's doesn't come too soon for any of us, it will be wonderful when we can meet "ne'er to part!"  In the meantime, visits and Skype will have to do.

Here are some random pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Keeping Sadie entertained at Macey's dance recital.

Macey's pre-school graduation

Scoresby family June 2013

It's been a quiet month since I last posted.  I spent a lot of time lying on the couch trying to feel good.  Here's a quick synopsis of what else we did:

Mother's Day--Ben and Shannon and the girlies came up for dinner.  It was nice and relaxing, probably because Rene did all the work.  Earlier, we went to their house for Ben's birthday.  It's hard to believe he's 32.

I babysit Macey and Sadie a couple of times.  One time, as I was getting ready to go home,  Macey said to me, "Grandma, will you babysit sit us when Mommy and Daddy get married?"  Somehow, she had gotten into her head that you had to get married before every baby that you have.  How nice to know that she and Sadie and their unborn sister are all already sealed to their Mommy and Daddy!

Janet and Jacob came up for Memorial Day weekend.  I think Rene really enjoyed having a buddy to do stuff with.  I enjoyed having a buddy to lay around with.  Janet beat Rene's high score on the Bubblet game on my Ipad.  Here's the proof:

We went to church in Stevens Point, had a cookout for Memorial Day/Sadie's birthday, the boys went to the shooting range, etc.  It's always sadly quiet when they all leave.

We are being overrun by wildlife.  A bear has been raiding Rene's beehives.  Last weekend, he put up an electric fence around them.  Today, I think we have another loose mink in the yard.   And the mosquito population has exploded.  They are supergood at getting in the house any time anyone cracks a door open.  I'm not planning on spending any time outside anytime soon. 

I'm super happy that I won Janet's challenge!  Yay me! Can't wait 'til I get my stick of gum.

Here, there and everywhere

Over the past several months, we have attended church in a variety of places besides home.  It's nice to be able to go anywhere and feel at home.

I have now attended church in Sarah and Brian's ward 5 or 6 times.  I like their ward.  It's a very ethnically diverse ward and  humble ward.  There are two things that I have really enjoyed when I've gone there.

There is an older gentleman who plays the organ for sacrament meeting.  His name is Bert Robertson (and his wife is Roberta--yes, really!).  He reminds me so much of some of my Allred uncles.  His playing isn't always perfect.  Whose is?  But I really like the way he plays.  Everytime I go to church there, I feel so happy when I walk into the chapel and see him playing.

The gospel doctrine teacher has now been released, but I enjoyed him very much.  I don't even know his name.  He's a guy (obviously), so he teaches like a guy.  There are no pictures or fancy handouts or even elaborate illustrations on the board.  But he is obviously well prepared.   When we were there last April for Janet's graduation, the lesson was on Mosiah 2.  I would imagine that all of us have read that chapter several times.  I know I have.  But the questions he asked and the discussion that followed, sank deep into my heart and touched me personally in a way I'd not considered before.

A couple of Sundays ago, we were in Aberdeen, SD, to celebrate my Mom's 80th birthday.  Alan Johnson was the High Council speaker and did a great job.  Mom was the RS teacher.  Although she was very nervous, her lesson was great.  Kudos to those who serve diligently, but quietly, in the church.  I feel sure that they will be among the sheep, not the goats, in the last day.

Mom and her nine kids

 

Back from Beantown

I'll apologize in advance--this may be long.

What a fun time we had in Boston!  We're so glad we could go visit the kiddos, big and little, and see Hull and the area.  Here's a quick synopsis in pictures of our trip.

The beach--since Hull is a peninsula, one is never far from water.  We walked down to the "beach" near the Franzen's home, but it's mostly rocks and the tide was high.  We also went to the beach at the very point of the peninsula.  Everyone but me threw rocks.  We looked at the Boston skyline across the bay.  Preston found me a live periwinkle in its shell.  He wanted me to take it home, cook, and eat it, but I declined. 

 

 

There is an area of Hull near the nice beachy beach that used to be an amusement park that rivaled Coney Island.  All that is left now is this awesome old carousel.  All of us plus Auntie Gail went and rode it.  The Easter Bunny was also there for pictures, but none of us wanted to do that.

We drove south to Plymouth.  The Mayflower is put away for the winter, but we saw Plymouth Rock.  I was expecting something on the order of Independence Rock, but this is what we saw.

 

 

 

 

Easter--lovely time to be together, attend church where Lauren sang with the Primary in sacrament meeting and to have a lovely meal afterwards.  Beautiful kids, beautiful family. 

 

I love this picture of me and Andrew.  It looks like he's thinking, "Who is this crazy person and what is she doing with me?"

Rene went back to Chicago on Sunday evening.  The rest of the week consisted of normal family activities.  We took Lauren to Backyard Bunch.  We went to the park.  We shopped, cooked, mended, played with kids.

Thursday, my plane left late in the day, so we took advantage of going to Boston to walk about half of the Freedom Trail.  We saw Paul Revere's grave, old churchs, Boston Commons, Fanueil Hall, Paul Revere's home and the Old North Church.  We stopped in a little bakery and bought some authentic Boston pastries.

 

 

It was interesting to see and feel a place so different from our own midwestern sensibilities.  We enjoyed our trip and are thankful we could go.  We're most thankful and proud of our kids and grandkids.  They are dealing with the challenges of grown-up life in wonderful and happy ways.

And happy birthday, Andrew!

Whirlwind weeks

Wow, it's been a quick and whirlwind month.  Here's what's been going on:

Janet and Jacob came to visit!  The 7 months since we saw them at their reception in Delta had been the longest we'd ever gone without seeing Janet.  Needless to say, we were happy to have them here.  While they were here we went to the art museum, played lots of games, the boys had some male bonding time, and celebrated my birthday.

 

 

Joanna and Ben came over to visit while Janet and Jacob were here.  Ben was only here a day, but Joanna and Russell stayed for a week.  Then Ben came back and picked them up.  It was great to have company and Russell was pretty entertaining.

 

 

Shortly after they went home, Rene left for a long business trip to Malaysia, Thailand and China.  During this same time, Brian was gone for eight days on a business trip to Las Vegas.  Sarah and I pooled our resources and I went out to Utah to spend that time.  Even though I had some days when I didn't feel good, it was nice to have someone to talk to.  I enjoyed seeing Camille every day and I think she got used to me.  Janet and Jacob were also around often and that, of course, was fun.

 

 

Jacob brought us some beautiful flowers from the lab he teaches.
















Springville Art Museum

Now I'm home.  Rene is back from his trip and will be home this weekend.  But he'll have to go back to Chicago, of course.  But we just have two more weeks to get through, then we'll be going to Boston to visit the Franzens.  Yippee!